So, our beloved TITS and ASS Prez is out of commission for the time being and I thought I would give a small update on her behalf. A TITS subject that I would like to discuss is extremely vulgar, so if you can’t stomach it – stop reading now. This subject is POO. Whether you call it Poo, poop, turd, shit, crap, caca, cucky, nuggets, hershey squirts, or whatever other name you made up in elementary school – it should be on the TITS list.
Poo sucks. It sucks when you can’t, it sucks when you have to, it sucks when you have to way too much. It sucks when the baby blows out of her diaper and gets it all over her clothes and subsequently all over yours. It sucks when you go and the toilet water splashes back up at you. It sucks when you gotta go in a public restroom, it sucks more when you smell others in a public restroom. It sucks when your sick, it sucks when your well. It sucks when your camping or at your boyfriends house. It sucks when you have to pick up your dogs and he goes in front of the neighbor’s house and its runny. It takes up your time and energy and yet drains it if you don’t. Everybody does it, everybody has to. I don’t care how necessary this bodily function is, it sucks and that is how I feel about it.
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About Me
- Alifinale
- I have a wonderful little family that I adore. Living in Las Vegas with my lawyer hubbie and funny little toddler and new baby. We are enjoying the weather and living closer to family. I am a TV and blogging addict and love to connect with old and new friends!
17 comments:
Brilliant. I mentioned constipation on the very first TITS list, but doing an entire post to the suckiness of poo was entirely in order. TITS is in good hands.
Glad you approve Prez!
My husband gets really grossed out by poo and even more grossed out by the thought of girls pooing. So he likes to pretend I don't poo. I like to show him proof that I do. Kidding!
Am I the only one that enjoys the relief of pushing out a nice big?.... nevermind.
Yeah, um poo sucks.
Ok I just re read my comment and it was pretty gross. my apologies.
That was sick, Tara. But I loved it.
You are allowed to be gross on this blog. And yes it does feel good, but only because you were in such misery before.
Bri likes to say that he suffers from Postpartum after a big dump.
Bri needs to keep things like that to himself.
Bird poop also needs to go on the TITS poop list. Why do they have to poo on our cars? There are plenty of other places to poo for crying out loud--leave my Corolla alone.
Have you ever had a bird poo on you? That would suck. I once narrowly escaped bird poo and I looked at it on the ground and the bird must have been eating cherries or something because the poo was purple! Eww gross!
I have birds that live in the roof above my apartment. The doors and windows are covered in bird pooh. I don't dare to clean it up either (cause it's pooh, gross) so it's just collecting.
The truth is that yes, I have had a bird poop on me. (Which is why I'm so qualified to be T and A prez). The weird part about it all was that I was in a narrow slot canyon in S. Utah. Seriously there was probably only like 2 feet of sky above me. And yet the bird managed to find me, and to send out a stream of poop that landed on my shoulder. AND, there wasn't much I could do about it. I was miles from water and was wearing a bathing suit top. (So horribly gross, I know). I just had to take off the shorts I was wearing, daub the poop off my shoulder, stuff the shorts into my backpack and keep on walking.
And that is why I hate bird poop.
That, and how they poop on my car.
you win!
That is really funny.
You were hiking in a bikini and none of the boys commented? Come on now, bird poo or not, thats hot.
i'm reading old posts out of boredom at work. you used to be so crass! love it. this is one of your best posts ever. it's funny to see how your blog has evolved over the years. you've been at it for a while now!
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